Letters in my diary:  Dear Ana,  Thank you for all you have made me. Thank you for taking that  fat, ugly, bloated disgusting thing I was. You’ve put me on  the road to perfection. I’m nearly there, I can feel my bones  rubbing against my bed when I’m trying to sleep. It hurts on  my spine and my rib cage and my hip bones. I can’t sleep  properly, it hurts to lie down – but that means I’m nearly  there. It shows that I’m losing the weight. Some days I hate  you, like when I get dizzy and faint, then I get bruises and  look stupid. Some days I wish you hadn’t gotten into my life,  so I could be like everyone else. All my friends go out for  dinner and they all eat; they never feel ashamed or  embarrassed. They’re perfect already. That’s when I realise  Ana, you have to be in my life.  I know I’m not perfect yet, but soon I will be. And it’s all  because of you, you are my life saver. You always push me and  make sure I’m not doing anything wrong. You’re the only thing  I will ever love Ana. It’s my fault when things go wrong  because you always want the right thing for me, you make sure  I’m heading towards perfection. I hate it when I fight with  and when I can’t do what you want, I’m sorry that I let you  down. I will try harder Ana, I promise.  Love
 3 rd  Jan 2006  I have gotten some laxatives so I won’t have to stick my  fingers down my throat for a few days. I know I shouldn’t have  them, it will mean I’m in pain but I have to if I want to be  skinny. I’ll only have a few.
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